


comfort

by orphan_account



Category: Onward (2020)
Genre: Brain Surgery, Mentions of Cancer, Sick Ian, barley feels bad for his brother, chemo - Freeform, feeding tube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 5,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25151638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ian gets a brain tumor and ends up on chemo after major brain surgery. The whole family is torn apart.Will things ever be the same again?I wanted to write this to show my support for those who actually go through cancerThis shit isn't funny or fun and games.
Comments: 31
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the story feels a bit rushed. I am writing this in between work and home life.
> 
> I wanted to make it longer and more detailed but brain fog is a bitch and it makes me to where I dont think of much to write.

"Someone has to tell him. I dont have the heart to." Barley said to laurel, who looked sadly at her youngest son, ian who sat up in his hospital bed with his head hung over a trash bin, splitting headache.

This has been going on for 2.5 weeks so far. Evety day was the same.  
Dizziness, severe nausea and vomiting and unsteady gate.   
Ian hated this.   
It came on suddenly without warning.  
What started out as a really bad headache turned into something more.

Just today he started to have tremors and shakes and become unconcious for short periods of time. This was scary and unnerving at the same time.

Last night, laurel took ian to the er and they did a brain scan, showing a large tumor the size of a baseball behind his right eye. They immediately admitted him to the hospital and observed him. 

In a few hours, he would undergo a brain operation that would remove the tumor. After the surgery, he would start chemo, depending on whether the biopsy came back positive for cancer.

Ian wasn't happy at all about it. He was wracked with pain and all he wanted to do was cry and vomit at the same time, in which only would cause the splitting headache to get worse.

Only time would tell if ian woild get better or decline.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, ian undergoed the surgery to his brain.   
Laurel and barley sat impatiently in the surgery waiting room for the dr to come back.  
They were hoping for the best news but expected the worst.  
It was kind of hard not to feel this way to be honest.  
A sinking feeling came over the anxious young adult elf and his mother. Barley pased back and forth in the waiting room. Nothing could console him, not even the soft touch of his mother or the comforting touch of his mothers hands on his back.  
"The dr will tell us the results soon, son. Sit down you are making me nervous with all that pasing back and forth. Youve been at it for 4 hours so far."  
"6." Barley corrected.  
Laurel gave Barley a unsettled sigh and then said, "its been 6 hours so far?"  
Barley nodded.

Suddenly, the moment they both had dreaded happened.  
The surgeon came back with a bloody apron and gloves on and said, "The surgery was a success. We removed the entire tumor, but i am afraid that I have some bad news. Just looking at the tumor, I can tell you with out a doubt it is malignant. We need to start chemo asap." 

Barley and laurel began to cry.   
"Where is my son? Is he ok?" Laurel asked, panic in her voice. 

"He is in the recovery room. He will wake up soon. Just give it time."


	3. Chapter 3

Laurel and Barley walked into the recovery room to see a bald, skinhead ian half asleep.   
He tried to lift his hand up to wave but he was too tired to do it.

Laurel stood on one side of the bed and Barley stood on the other side.  
They both held ian's hands and gave him comforting words.  
"Where am i?" Ian said weakly, just starting to come to after being on anesthesia for 6 hours.  
"Your in the recovery room baby. The surgery was a success but.....the news isn't good."  
Laurel said, beginning to tear up.  
Ian opened his eyes as wide as he could with still being half awake and said, "whats wrong mom? What happened."  
Ian looked at Barley and then back at laurel, waiting for some type of answer, any type of answer. 

"You have cancer."

Ian's eyes widened, disbelief setting in.  
"No, no I don't. I won't beleieve that. Barley, tell me I don't have that, please." Ian pleaded, trying not to cry but the tears poured.

Barley shook his head and cried himself.  
"They want you to start chemo tomorrow." Laurel said, drying her eyes with her sleeve.

Ian dried his eyes and then said, "Am I gonna die?"  
Laurel looked down at her feet, not wanting to see the reaction on Ian's face when she told him she honestly didn't know.

"We will know more when the dr comes in. They are going to do a biopsy. That will tell us more."  
Ian nodded his head and buried his face in Laurel's chest.

How was he ever going to get through this?


	4. Chapter 4

A an hour or so later, ian was moved back to his regular room and a few hours later, a dr came in and told the news that everyone didn't want to hear.

"The surgeon put a rush on the biopsy results on the tumor and the results came back just as expected. It is cancerous and yall are in luck. Its a stage 1 and it didn't spread to anywhere but we need to make sure there isn't anything left so we are going to set you up with 20 rounds of chemo. The chemo starts tomorrow. In a few minuets we will put in a picc line and thst will be used for your chemo. I am really sorry for such bad news but the good news is that this can be beat and you can recover. Just hang in there."  
The dr patted ian on the back and then walked out of the room.

Ian burst into tears and nuzzled up into his moms arms. He was so scared right now. He didn't know what to do he was terrified he was going to die and he just wanted to go home. He didnt have headaches anymore but the headaches would be replaced with more pain from chemo soon.   
Ian blinked hard, hoping this was all just a horrible night mare he could wake up from and it all be over with.  
But it wasn't and this made ian even more scared.

Laurel held ian tightly and gave his bald head a kiss over and over. She was used to kissing his curly blue hair but now all that was left was his bald head with bandages on it.

Ian jsut wanted this to be over with so he could go home.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day came quicker than expected.

Last night, they put in a picc line in the left side of ian's neck and this morning, at exactly 6 am, they started chemo. 

At first, it didn't bother Ian, but after an hour, he began to wish he had said yes to the nausea meds the nurse offered him in the beginning.  
The nausea was intense and ian threw up over and over till he couldnt take it no more and asked for nausea meds.  
The nausea meds made him sleepy and ian slept through the infusion.  
4 hours later, the first day of chemo was complete and ian felt like hell boiled over.  
His head hurt, his stomach ached and he felt like shit as he ached all over.

"The dr said you have 20 rounds of chemo. Each round is 5 days long. The dr said you can go home this Friday. And you have next week off to recover. Every other week for 20 weeks you have chemo." Barley said, giving ian a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Ian glared at his brother then turned over and tried to sleep. But the sleeping action he was trying to accomplish failed and he ended up laying on his back in bed staring at the ceiling.  
"Screw this shit. I cant sleep at all. I feel like shit and I am miserable. I need something to help me sleep. I need to get some rest."

Laurel asked a nurse if there was something they could give ian to help him sleep.   
The nurse came in and gave him a mild dose of a sedative to help him rest.

Ian said thank you as he drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The next 4 days passed quickly.   
Each day got harder and harder as far as the chemo was concerned.   
Ian learned to cope with the nausea and resting during and afterwards treatment really helped him, as much as it could anyways.  
Soon, Friday came and Ian got to go home for a week.

He was so happy and excited he got to go home and rest.   
That day when he got home, ian fell onto his bed and relaxed. He turned on the TV and watched some TV before falling asleep early.

The next day, the nausea came back. So did the aches and pains.  
Laurel gave ian a anti nausea pill and some pain reliever for the aches and pain and helped ian get comfortable on his bed; a place in which ian was most of the time. 

School suffered for a good while. Ian wasnt able to go to school for a while. He hurt too bad to go out and about for long periods of time. From time to time, ian would take barley's van out for a spin for a few minuets with Barley sitting beside him while he had energy. But when his energy dipped, Barley drove them home.

This went on for a while when ian was at out of the hospital.


	7. Chapter 7

The next week, ian packed his bag and headed back to the hospital. He would be staying for 5 days, 5 loooong days at that. 

With the short amount of time he was having treatment so far, ian got used to everything and was not as overwhelmed when he was in the hospital for long periods of time.  
Sure he didnt like it but he got used to it.

Months passed. Time passed quickly as ian almost finished treatment.  
With 3 sessions left, ian was excited about getting to be chemo free soon. 

Laurel and Barley were excited too. The family was torn apart because of the chemo treatments and always being away from home.   
Laurel because stressed out to the max as she was the main caregiver for ian when barley couldnt help out. Ian had to be in the er asap if he got a high fever at all no matter what time of night or day it was and that was taxing, and took a toll on everyone in the house, But somehow they made things work out some way or another.

Then came scan day to see what the effects of chemo was. Ian became so nervous and anxious. She scans showed no new growth whatsoever however the cancer still was there but almost gone. This meant more sessions of chemo would be needed, but this time stronger chemo would be needed to completely remove the cancer for good.

Ian was upset as he thought he was almsot done completely with treatment. When he was told he had 10 to 12 more rounds of chemo, but this time, more intense and aggressive chemo, he cried and wished this was all a bad dream.


	8. Chapter 8

Instead of starting the week with the old chemo, ian started the new aggressive chemo that day when he got checked into the hospital.  
When he got there, his normal room was ready for him and he was ready to get into the bed and hook up for chemo.

Ian should have known this chemo would be strong because of the comment the nurse told him before she started infusion.  
"You may be dizzy, feel exhausted more than normal and have trouble breathing. So if you need oxygen, don't hesitate to let me know."

Ian wasnt expecting much from the new chemo. But a few minuets after he got hooked up and the pump started, he began to feel horrible. His body ached like someone dumped a big bag of bricks all over him and he began to cry. 

Laurel and Barley tried their best to comfort Ian but it didnt work.  
Ian was scared at this point. It had been 2.5 hours into treatment and Ian was so tired and weak he could barely move and he could barely keep his eyes open. He was having trouble breathing so he was given oxygen to help him out.

He looked at laurel and mustered up all the strength in his core to say, "Mom, I feel so bad. Please just let me die. This is so hard."

Laurel cried and told her crying son things would be better soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Barley walked over towards his brothers bed and gently hugged him. Ian grimmaced in pain with any touch on his body.  
Barley asked the nurses for some pain meds for his little brother and they came in and gave him some pain meds.  
When the pain meds kicked in, Ian could breathe some better.

The next 4 days passed.  
Ian made himself try to get used to the aggressive chemo as he knew it would save his life.  
Laurel and Barley tried to keep strong for Ian but sometimes they had to leave the room and cry in the lobby. It was so much for them to see Ian suffer so bad.

The dr told Ian that due to the fact the chemo was so intense, he probably would need a feeding tube to assist him in getting nutrition because as the chemo treatments went along, he wouldnt eat much as he wouldnt have the energy to do it.

So that day, before Ian got to go home, he got a feeding tube in his nose. It was annoying and he hated it. He was so weak and tired and exhausted. 

At this point, Ian was really looking like one of those little kids you see on medical shows with the bald head, pale skin sunken in eyes with dark shaddows, no hair anywhere including no eyebrows and skeletal frame. 

All he wanted to do was sleep and rest on either the couch or his bed. His bed hurt his back most of the time, so the couch was his friend for most of the time.

Barley was starting to get scared at Ian's appearance. He never saw his little brother like that, but he did faintly remember his father looking the same way before he died and Barley was afraid Ian would be the same way. Most of his time alone would be spent crying and trying to muster up enough mental strength not to bend and break. It was so hard too because this was his little brother he was dealing with.   
His brother was so important to him and if he lost him, he would be nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

That week when ian was at home, Barley tried his best to spend as much time with his little brother as possible.

He would help his mom set up the feeding tube pump and made sure he was comfortable all cuddled up in a blanket on the couch. He would read funny stories from the internet to him and they would watch movies together.  
But sometimes, the best moments were when Ian would rest his frail frame on Barley's lap. 

With the new chemo came new options. Before he left the hospital, ian was given the option for home treatment which included a chemo pump so treatment could be performed in the comfort of his own home. Of course, ian jumped to it and said that was definitely what he wanted.   
He would much wrather be sick at home then be sick in a hospital with no comfort and privacy.

So the new protocol was set in place and the next week, ian would go to the oncologist and get hooked up and then go home with some nausea meds and pain meds; all of in which were greatly used and needed.

Ian would spend most of his time on the couch, cuddled up in a blanket.   
He liked to rest his head on either his brother or his mom's lap with a pillow under his head.  
It was comforting to him and it made him happy and feel safe. 

And when the next week came and ian started chemo again, ian wasn't as overwhelmed because he was in the comfort of his own home.


	11. Chapter 11

That next week, ian went to his oncologist. The dr did some blood work and then waited for the results. The results would determine if Ian's body was strong enough for another treatment.   
This week however, he wasn't strong enough. The dr ordered a brain scan for later on that day to see the progress the stronger chemo was making.   
The dr said that if the tumor was gone and one or two cells were left, then chemo would be discontinued and 3 sessions of radiation would be needed to complete the treatment.  
However, if the tumor remained the same or grew any, the agressive chemo would remain the same and would pick up next week as planned.

Ian nodded in agreement. He knew what was ahead of him and he wasnt that scared. Oh he was scared but he knew he could beat this once and for all.  
He knew his mom and brother had his back and was there for him the entire time.  
This comforted him.

That afternoon, ian went to the brain scan. It lasted an hour and a half which wasn't the problem. The hard part was sitting in the waiting room and waiting for the dr to call him back.

Due to the nature of the scan, the dr asked for the scans to be rapidly processed, which meant that he would get the results the same day and ian and his family would know the results the same day as well.

After the scan was done, ian went back out to the lobby and waited for the results as the dr said they would be ready in a few hours.

The waiting game was horrible, but everyone made it through. They were hoping for positive results or at least no growth.

What they got however was neither.


	12. Chapter 12

The dr called ian and his mom and brother back to the room. The look on his face was not a look ian wanted to see and his tone of voice was sad and depressing; another red flag that something wasn't right.

"I got your scans back, Ian and I have to say I'm concerned with the results. On the other hand however, the brain is completely healed. No trace of cancer there at all which is fantastic, but once the cancer healed in your brain, the cancer spread to your neck and spine. I highly recommend 2 weeks radiation and 12 weeks of chemo. Ill put you on a chemo thst isnt bad like the last time. Your mother told me you couldnt handle it. Ill put you on 2 different chemos this time and along with radiation it should clear it out. However, this does mean thst you will have to be hospitalized for the treatment and observation of the cancer. Im sorry but no home treatment at this time as time is critical to remove this disease and get you better. You are at a stage 2 c and I really don't want you to be any higher staged if at all possible. I'm so sorry for the news but it had to be said by someone. Go ahead and check into the hospital. They will observe your counts and start radiation while you are waiting for chemo."

Ian nodded, tears forming in his eyes and in his mom and brothers eyes as well.   
Noone was expecting this at all. They wanted good news but inatead got something worse.

Ian refused to let this disease win. He stood up and then headed to the hospital with his family following behind him.


	13. Chapter 13

Once they got to the hospital, ian checked in and went to his room. Barley stayed with ian while laurel went home and quickly packed the bags for everyone for who knew how long.   
She expected a long hospital stay this time so she made sure to pack alot of things.

She threw the duffle bags into the car and then sped back to the hospital.

When she got there, barley was standing by the front desk.  
"I texted you half an hour ago. Ian is in radiation. They got him in early. They said it would be another hour of treatment and then he would be back in his room."

"Im sorry it took so long. I had to pack all 3 of our bags. They are in the car. You can get them and take them to the room if you want to. I'll be in radiology waiting room." Laurel said.  
Barley nodded and then headed out to the car. He grabbed the bags and then headed up to the room where ian would be staying for a while.  
His stomach dropped when he got to the room. A nurse was standing outside the room with a clipboard and a upset look.  
This made Barley feel like he accidently got the wrong room and he should ask for directions but the nurse stopped him in his tracks and told him he got the right room.   
She let Barley inside the room to put the heavy duffle bags down.  
She then looked at Barley and said, "Your brother is Ian, right?"  
Barley nodded.  
"Is your mother on her way? She needs to be here." The nurse said, urgency in her voice as she spoke.  
Suddenly, just as Barley steped out of the room, he saw a very distraught Laurel walking towards the room. Her face was tear stained and her eyes red from crying.

Barley ran over towards his mom and comforted her.   
"Mom, please tell me you are OK? Where's ian."  
"Honey, Ian is in ICU. He stopped breathing on the radiation table jsut as they turned the machine off to finish treatment. They brought him back but he won't be going back to this room unless things turn for the better. Just take our stuff to the car and meet me in the ICU and hurry."

Barley ran to the room, picked up the duffle bags and then ran back to the car. The entire time his head was spinning and he couldnt stop crying. Adrenaline kicked in and he couldnt feel anything except for his heart pounding in his chest.

Would his little brother be ok?


	14. Chapter 14

Once barley got through putting the duffle bags back into the car, he ran up to the icu and met up with his mom.

Ian lay in a hospital bed, life support running to keep him breathing.  
Laurel looked up and gave barley a weak smile.  
"They said he is getting some better, but he will need to be in at least PCU step-down for 2 weeks before he can go to his normal room. They are going to move him to PCU tonight if all goes well. He is on 50% oxygen right now so he is able to breathe just not very well. Thjngs will get better honey."

Barley nodded and then dried a few tears from his eyes.  
He took a seat on the other side of his brother and then held his hand. 

Why did Ian have to go though this, why couldnt it have been him who went through this whole ordeal? He would have gladly taken Ian's place.

Barley quietly sobbed into Ian's arm, gripping his brother's hand tightly.

Laurel patted her distressed son on the shoulder.   
" He is gonna make it honey. Just keep praying. Things will be ok."

Barley nodded and then dried a few tears. He had to be strong for ian, he had to be.


	15. Chapter 15

The next night, ian got moved to PCU.  
The reason why he had a heart attack was because too much going on with his body at once.   
A few hours after he got put in his new room, he opened his eyes and looked around. They removed the venalator so he was able to speak.  
"Mom, Barley, where am i?" Ian asked.  
Laurel held ians hand and then said, "you are in PCU baby. Yesterday you were in the icu because your heart stopped. They brought you back but the dr told barley and I that they would be waiting till Thursday to start anything to give your body time to rest and recover before starting radiation again. You need rest. If all goes well, next week you can go to your normal room." 

Ian's eyes began to tear up. "I...I died? No no no I don't beleieve that." Ian said, trying to keep his calm but it wasn't working.  
Barley held his brothers hand and said, "ian, you are gonna be ok, okay? We won't let anything bad happen to you. Your gonna beat this. Dad didn't make it but you will."

Ian smiled and gave Barley a big hug.  
Laurel hugged ian as well, one big group hug.

Later that night, Ian felt good enough to sit up and watch TV. Laurel and Barley made sure he didnt overdo it though.   
It was so good and it made Barley happy to see his little brother feeling some better again. 

If only the cancer was gone! Soon enough Barley told himself. Soon enough.


	16. Chapter 16

Weeks passed and turned into a month.   
Ian finished radiation and almost finished chemo. It was rough but it was worth it.

Ian got to go back to his regular room 5 days after he got placed in the PCU.

His body recovered enough that a day after he got back to his regular room, he started radiation and the day after that chemo. 

Ian was always tired and slept alot as the chemo wore him out as well as all the vomiting and body aches.

Nausea meds only did so much and sometimes they didn't even work at all.  
The feeding tube was a nuisance and ian hated it. He wanted so bad to be able to eat normal again and have the energy to do what he used to do. But he knew at this point he wouldn't be able to do it for a while.

Barley continued to try and stay strong for his baby brother. It was so hard sometimes but he made it.  
Some days were better than others when it came to keeping it together for Barley. 

Laurel tried her best as well to make sure things were ok and everything was settled. It was hard on everyone being in the hospital for over a month but she tried to booie up Barley and Ians spirits the best she could


	17. Chapter 17

Soon it was scan day again. The last time they scanned it was over two weeks ago and the cancer was almost completely gone everywhere. They did a full body scan and it proved this. This time would be a full body scan as well and everyone was hoping for positive results; just like last time.

That day, when noon rolled around, ian was rolled back to the MRI room for the scan. His anxiety was high and he was crying. He tried to keep his composure but it was so hard.   
Not knowing what things were terrified ian to the point of no return. It took Barley and Laruel together to calm him down before they took him back.

When he got back, he was given a anxiety pill and some contrast dye for the scan. Ian called down and then the scan began.

Ian closed his eyes and then felt as he was brought into the machine; a feeling he knew all too well, unfortunately.  
The machine made horrible loud noises and ian was glad he had taken the anxiety pill because he needed it.

After an hour, he was brought out of the machine and helped off the table.  
He then was wheeled back to his room.

Once he got back to his room, he sat down in a chair next to his bed and watched some tv.

The test results in the hospital normally came back pretty quick, but they always seemed like forever to poor Ian and his family.

A few hours later, the dr came in with a smile on his face, holding the scan results.  
He sat down on a nearby chair and then cleared his throat.

"I have to say I am very happy about these results. Given the circumstances, u did exceptionally well during the scans.  
I am happy to say that you are in remission my friend. 3 more weeks and you can go home. The 3 weeks are for precautions so we can make sure you are in complete recovery."

Ian, Barley and Laurel jumped for joy. Everyone was so excited they could barely contain their excitement.

Ian was the most happy as it was pertaining to him the most


	18. Chapter 18

The next day, ian decided to take a walk in the hall. He felt up to it a little and decided to take the opportunity while he had the energy.

Tomorrow was his last day of chemo and Ian was super excited. Everything fell into place and everyone was so happy for ian.

Ian was specifically happy and excited because he didnt have to go through all the pain and nausea anymore and he could finaly eat again and get his hair and color back, as right now he was a grayish blue color, not at all the color he normally was.

Ian also had lost a bit of weight, 50 lbs to be exact. He was skelatal and bones stuck out everywhere. His eyes were sunken in and had dark shaddows around them.  
Ian was excited he could finally eat regular meals again and gain some weight.

Ian told Laurel that tomorrow to celebrate, he wanted a burger and some fries.after chemo if he wasn't sick. Laurel said she would be happy to help him out with that.

Barley was beaming. He knew ian could beat this demon disease, he just knew it and he did! Barley felt so relieved his little brother was gonna be getting better very soon!


	19. Chapter 19

On the last day of chemo, ian got sick once and then felt like shit the rest of the day. But he knew he was gonna be able to go home in a few weeks, he perked up a bit.  
Laurel got a burger and fries like ian wanted and for the first time in several weeks, ian took a bite of normal food. It felt amazing and tasted amazing as well! Another milestone in ians journey was accomplished. And the best part of it was that he was able to keep the food down too!  
Laruel told the dr that he was able to keep regular food down so the dr put him on clear liquids and said he wanted to see how ian did with that for a week or so then before he leaves the hospital, gradually introduce solids.

This made everyone happy, especially ian, who finally got to eat normal elf food again after so long. He was beside himself!


	20. Chapter 20

The last 2.5 weeks passed quickly. Ian slowly began to regain energy as he was able to eat clear liquids and solids.   
The dr removed the feeding tube as he was able to see himself that ian could eat without it and keep the food down.

Ian was super happy about that. The tube hurt his nose and he hated it. It made his throat sore sometimes and it was hard to swallow without it annoying him.

As the days passed, ian was able to spend more and more time out of his bed and walk around the hall and smile at the others in the hall.

Tomorrow was the big day. The day ian would be able to go home after almost 2 months. This was the longest trip to the hospital ever!


	21. epilogue

epiloge 

Ian got to go home the next day. He hadent seen the outside for 2 months and it felt amazing to feel the cool air on his face and head.

When everyone got home, Barley carried Ian into the house and put him on the couch.  
Ian smiled eat to ear when he felt the soft couch against his back.  
''This is the life.'' Ian said to himself.

Laurel was so relieved to be home and wasn't looking forward to the laundry she had to do though.

Barley said he was so relieved ian was ok and defeated the evil cancer. He also said that he is glad he was able to sleep in his own bed compared to the hard reclining chairs at the hospital.

Within 2 weeks of completing chemo and radiation, ian got his full color back and started to grow eyebrows and hair on his head.  
He couksnt stop looking at his face in the mirror!  
It felt odd to see himself so different than normal. But it felt amazing to touch his head and feel stubble where it was once smooth skin.

After a few weeks off chemo, ian was able to eat full fledged meals again and was able to gain 10 pounds in 2 weeks. He was so happy and he felt better too. He slowly started to fill out again as he was emaciated at this point.


End file.
